


so many stories of where i've been

by QueenWithABeeThrone



Series: a tale of two matts [5]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV)
Genre: 616: weirder than every other universe out there, Drinking & Talking, Drinking Games, Embarrassing Stories About Your Superhero Best Friend, Gen, Marvel 616/MCU Crossover, stories, what do you MEAN shapeshifting aliens were a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 02:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4204857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenWithABeeThrone/pseuds/QueenWithABeeThrone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"I ever tell you about the time Matt met up with Hawkeye?" Foggy innocently says.</i>
</p>
<p>Or: Foggy Nelson, and the stories he tells. Featuring: rainy days at the office and drinking games at Josie's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so many stories of where i've been

**Author's Note:**

> I would like you all to know that Clint flattening Matt with _one punch_ is real and beautiful. also, that if ever MCU!Matt runs into MCU!Clint, it'll probably be in the midst of battle and Clint will probably end up, like, falling off a building and onto Matt, because sometimes their luck is just terrible. (616!Matt will not stop laughing once he hears about it. FINALLY, A WORSE FIRST MEETING THAN HIS.)

It's a rainy day when Foggy--with the pageboy cap and a slice of pizza shoved into his mouth, so sue him, it's been a long week and he _deserves_ this pizza--swallows, and says, "Hey, other me--did your Matt ever pretend to be his own twin brother once?"

In the other room, where this universe's Matt and _his_ Matt are bouncing arguments off each other about the Patchett case, something crashes to the ground. Loudly.

The other Foggy--with long hair and a mouth full of Cheetos--stares at him with wide eyes, and then swallows before saying, "Wait, yours did that too? Oh my god--tell me you've got pics--"

"Foggy!" Matt yells from the other room--not his Matt, surprisingly, but the other Matt, with the darker hair.

"Nah," says Foggy, and tries not to think about how the pictures are gone along with--with the rest of his _universe_ , shit, he's got to get off that very depressing train of thought. "Yours tried to trick you into thinking his twin brother was Daredevil too?" he asks instead, and is rewarded with a snort of laughter and a vigorous shake of the head.

"No, actually--" the other Foggy starts.

The other Matt opens the door and says, "He dared me into it."

Foggy looks him over. Imagines him in the loud eyesore that Matt, as Mike, used to wear. Breaks into a fit of laughter that sends him off his chair and hurts his sides and keeps him from breathing for a few seconds before he manages to get a hold of himself, grabbing his chair's armrest and pulling himself up, still giggling.

"In my defense," says the other Foggy, "we were both very, very drunk when I dared him to do it."

"It's a very long story," says his Matt, from behind the other Matt. "I blame Spider-Man, personally."

"Yeah, but _you_ ," says Foggy, jabbing a thumb in his Matt's direction, "kept it going! I cannot believe Karen and I fell for it--"

"Wait," says the other Foggy, a grin spreading across his face, and if this sense of dawning horror is the same feeling that the guys from Jurassic Park felt just before they were eaten by dinosaurs, Foggy is very, very sorry that he ever made fun of them, "you _fell for it?_ "

"Hook, line, and sinker," Matt confirms, before Foggy can jump to his own defense.

"Just like the whole class during Criminal Law," the other Matt mutters. " _And_ Professor Steinberg."

"Did he walk into class and act like a total jerk through the whole thing?" Foggy asks, jabbing a finger at Matt, who's failing to suppress the grin on his face. Foggy's going to kick his ass. Somehow. "Because that was Matt, for, oh-- _a year and a half._ "

Matt coughs, and says, "You were the one who believed it."

"He does have a point," says the other Matt. "I mean, I suppose my Foggy only knew because _he_ was responsible--"

The other Foggy huffs, and says, "Okay, objection, first, we were _both_ drunk, how was I supposed to know you'd take it seriously? Second, unlike other-me over here--"

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus," Foggy grumbles, reaching over to snatch the bag of Cheetos out of his other self's reach.

"-- _I_ can tell if my best friend is trying to fool me by pretending to be his own twin brother, because _I tried that trick in fourth-grade_ ," the other Foggy finishes, then reaches over to make a grab for the Cheetos. Foggy holds it out and away from him, scooting the chair just a little bit away to keep the bag tantalizingly out of his other self's reach. "Also, frankly, Matt, you're a terrible actor."

"I ever tell you about the time Matt met up with Hawkeye?" Foggy innocently says.

Matt says, very loudly, "Oh, no, that time was actually fairly boring--"

"Hawkeye," Foggy continues, raising his voice to compete with his Matt's, " _flattened_ him with one punch, 'cause you know what Matt does when someone, say, discharges a phosphorus arrow in front of him and wonders why he isn't reacting."

The other Foggy breaks into a fit of hopeless laughter, and says, "He did _not_."

"He _did_."

"I wasn't that terrible," says Matt, defensively.

" _One. Punch,_ " says Foggy, grinning.

Beside his Matt, the other Matt's shoulders are shaking with suppressed laughter, and Foggy figures, well, good.

\--

They're all clustered together in Josie's--even Claire, who's spending her day off with them--and Foggy's got enough alcohol in him that he's feeling pleasantly buzzed. Okay, in all honesty: he's drunk as a skunk. Almost all of them are. Probably the only one still sober out of all of them is his alternate self, who's pretty much banned from alcohol anyway, having come fresh off a stay in the hospital for chemotherapy, because the rest of them have progressed to drinking games.

The rules are pretty easy: the universe that Kirsten and her Matt and Foggy come from is, to put it lightly, pretty weird. Or _was_ pretty weird, but Foggy doesn't want to think about that right now, but anyway. A shot, for each thing said by the rest of them that actually occurred in their universe. Foggy had figured, at the beginning of it, that they'd be drinking a lot.

Foggy figures he's underestimated just how weird alternate universes can get.

"Aliens," says Claire, leaning heavily on Matt, who Foggy is pretty sure is way past tipsy, if the way he's started giggling at every vaguely hilarious thing is any indication.

Kirsten squints at Claire. "You," she starts, "said that already. Right? Foggy?"

"Which one?" Foggy pipes up, then giggles too. What? It's _funny_.

"Me," says the other Foggy, sipping at his Coke. "Yeah, you said that already."

" _Shapeshifting_ aliens," says Claire. "Shapeshifting aliens that infiltrated the government. I saw this conspiracy theory floating around on the Internet, had a good laugh with Rodriguez over it at lunch--"

Kirsten glances at the other Matt, who's leaning a little bit on her, before they both chug their shot glasses.

"Oh my _god_ ," says Claire.

"I shit you not," says Kirsten. "They were called--Skulls? No. Wait. _Skrulls_ , yeah, god, that was a terrible time. I think my professor was a Skrull?"

"Elektra had been replaced by a Skrull," says the other Matt, gloomily.

"Wait, wait," says Foggy, pushing himself up on his chair, "what do you mean--what, did she not come back that time after all? But yesterday you said--"

"She did come back," says the other Foggy, reaching over to steal Karen's ("hey!" she huffs) French fries. "But then she was kidnapped by Skrulls and a Skrull took her place. Also, sorry about your professor, Kirsten."

"He was an ass, so don't be," says Kirsten. "The Skrull taught better than he ever did."

"Elektra was a _shapeshifting alien_?" Matt asks, sitting up. Claire slips, and makes a frustrated noise as she rights herself. Foggy would like to reach out to pat her, but he's fairly certain he'd fall off this chair and make a spectacle of himself if he did. "For--how long was she a shapeshifting alien?"

"Didn't ask her," says the other Matt, scrubbing his hand over his face. "A while?"

"Okay, okay," says Karen, leaning over and downing her shot. "Ugh--okay. _Wizards_."

"In general or a specific kind?" the other Matt asks, before knocking back a shot of whiskey.

Foggy nearly chokes on his drink, and says, "You've met _more than one_?"

"And a werewolf, and a mummy, and Frankenstein's monster, and someone who apparently had the actual devil for her father," says the other Matt.

" _Apparently_ ," says Matt, his tone slightly strangled. He knocks his own shot glass back pretty quickly.

"You know," says the other Foggy, surprisingly serene even after that last item, which, _what the hell, Murdock,_ "considering everything _else_ that's happened to us, that's not even the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"I met Doctor Strange," says the other Matt. "His mansion was--confusing. Very, very confusing. To say the _least_. I didn't really run in the same circles as most of them, but I did hear of them a few times through the superhero grapevine."

"Who's Doctor Strange?" Karen asks.

"I think I've heard of him," says Claire. "Didn't know he was a _wizard_ , though--I mean, all I know is, he's a neurosurgeon in Germany. He had some articles published, plus we had to study one of his patients in med school, but other than that _oh my god Stephen Strange is a wizard_." She pours herself another shot of whiskey, and squints at her glass. "Hey, guys," she says, "why's there an eel in this bottle?"

"The eel," says Foggy, "the purvee--peervu--fuck it, _granter_ of mighty eel strength! Drink it, Claire, come on, become one of us for real!"

"Absolutely not," Claire says, laughing. "No, I think--Matt, what about you?"

" _Nooooo_ , it's disgusting," says Matt, making a face. It's kind of adorable, and makes Foggy think of a sad baby duck and giggle madly. "It tastes terrible. Foggy--Foggy, I can hear you, it isn't funny, it really _does_ taste awful."

"You're missing out," Foggy crows.

"Can I--" Karen starts, reaching over to grab the glass, but she falls over instead, ending up in Matt's and Claire's laps and hastily trying to right herself.

"I'll take it," says Kirsten, reaching over to deftly grab the glass and chug its contents like a champ. Even the _eel_. " _Ugh_ ," she says, "that is truly foul."

"One of us!" Foggy cheers, and nearly falls off his chair.

\--

The next day, Foggy troops into the office, hungover and not nearly caffeinated enough for work, and gives his other self, who's barely managing to keep back a laugh, a glare.

"Not a _word_ ," he says.

\--

"Did I ever tell you," says the younger Foggy, one day while they're both heading down to the precinct, with paper bags in hand, "that my mother wanted me to be a butcher?"

Foggy blinks, and glances at him. He can't imagine _his_ mother wanting him to be a butcher, and not for the first time, he's a little bit jealous of--well, of himself. "Mine didn't," he says, dryly.

"Mine did," says the other Foggy. "You know what I told her?"

"I can guess," Foggy says, because the younger Matt's warned him about the butcher story, told him the whole thing, _word for word_.

"No, you can't," says the other Foggy, and plows on: "I told her, _No, mom, I wanna be a lawyer_."

Foggy snorts out a laugh, because for all their differences, this has stayed much the same: "When I was a kid," he says, "I wanted to be a lawyer too."

"It's like we're twins or something," the other Foggy jokes, as they walk inside the precinct, bags of the best cigars they could buy on hand. "Now let's go bribe a cop."


End file.
